Joining a band can be a truly wonderful musical experience. It can also be absolutely hellish, for a variety of reasons. To avoid the latter experience (having experienced some of these things myself!), here are some considerations when looking to get involved with other musicians in a band setting!
Let’s begin with the things To Do!
The Music
The first and most important step is to establish what kind of music you’re going to be playing. If you’re joining an established covers band of any sort, get a list of their musical influences and (when possible) a complete song list that will give you a very clear idea of what to expect when you get into the rehearsal room!
In addition to that, when possible get a list of keys that they play the tunes in (again to avoid surprises in the rehearsal room) and any details about different arrangements they may be using. Some bands like to keep things absolutely as per the record, other bands are happy to play things a little loose and let things happen on the bandstand. Whichever way it is, make sure that you are ok with that. Letting things happen on the bandstand can be a lot of fun (and often creative) but it also introduces an element of jeopardy to the performance (if people are not switched on, it can go very wrong very quickly!) that you need to be comfortable with.
If you’re setting up a covers band, get these sorts of things established right from the word go. Get yourselves around a table and agree (in writing) on common influences and what ballpark you are going for within the covers world. Sit down and brainstorm! You’re looking to start a rock band? Nail down what era and style you’re talking about! You’re forming a tribute band? How ‘Tribute’ are you looking to get? Is that musical accuracy only or are you going for the full-on stage look complete with accurate instruments and outfits in order to break onto the tribute circuit? Nail this all down! Are you doing single tunes or are you going to include medleys and segues? What arrangements/versions are you going to play?
When joining or forming a band writing and playing original music, a lot of the same things apply! Do you have common influences? Are you on the same page musically? What kind of music are you looking to write? Is this going to be a studio project only or are you looking to get out and play the music live? Is this a collective thing, or is one person bringing the ideas to the table? Is this a solo project or a true collaboration? One of the most important things to establish is who is responsible for the writing process and if it’s one person leading, to what extent others are going to be able to bring ideas to the table. If you want to have significant creative input, you need to set this out early on rather than trying to muscle your way in later on, but whatever the case may be make sure that musically you are all pulling together in pursuit of a common creative goal!
Set Out Your Expectations
Differing expectations about where the band is going to go is one of the most common reasons for bands splintering and falling apart, the case of some members doing it as a hobby and enjoying writing and others intending the band to be the next (insert supergroup here).
If you are forming a new ensemble and you wish to take it seriously and have the band go somewhere, you need to set that out right from the word go, albeit without terrifying your potential bandmates! If you are joining a band that already exists, then you need to have a conversation upfront about what they expect from you, and this a multi-faceted thing involving time, commitment and (potentially) money. What are you happy investing into that musical project? Are you ok with putting in things that, in reality, you may never recoup? Rehearsal spaces usually need to be paid for, as does (potential) recording time (to say nothing of live equipment). Who takes ownership and responsibility for that? If the band is established, you will need to get yourself up to speed with the material, and if they wish to gig on a regular basis that will be an additional time commitment, are you onboard with that? Get all of this nailed down quickly upfront and you can get down to the music!
As a footnote, that also goes for your own family (if that applies) as well as your bandmates. Be upfront about what you are going to be doing and what sort of time commitment you will be putting in, so you and your family are on the same page and can avoid any resentment or ill-feeling further down the line.
The People
While you do not need to be the best of friends in order to make great music, you do (ideally) need to get on reasonably well with the people you are working with, especially if it is a non-professional situation (where you are obliged to work together as opposed to it being optional). In other words, you are choosing to put yourself in this situation; make sure it is one you are going to enjoy. Meet them socially as well as in the rehearsal room if you can, so you can see what kind of people they are when you’re not in a music- specific situation. See if there is anything there that is going to put you off or irritate you (such as drink/drug issues) and if possible do a little digging within the local scene to see if anyone has any background they can share with you to give you a better idea of what you might be getting into.
Courtesy, Honesty And Respect
Honesty and courtesy go a long way when it comes to having a healthy working musical relationship with someone, and this covers multiple bases within being in a band. The most obvious one is timekeeping. Be on time for rehearsals and always aim to be early for load in if you’re playing gigs because if your timekeeping slips, that is a sure way to get on someone’s nerves.
When working on musical ideas in the rehearsal room, I always try to be as courteous and respectful as I can, especially if I’m not keen on something or I disagree with the way that something is being presented, or perhaps the direction an idea is going. If you don’t like something, take the time to understand WHY you don’t like something and explain that clearly rather than just coming straight out with “I don’t like that”. Musical ideas can be incredibly personal to the composer, so a measured, considered critique while respecting the idea is always (in my experience) the best option. Always have respect for the person that has taken the time to present the idea, and NEVER just rubbish or belittle it. Look to reframe and rework, rather than axe. Different people can also have very, very different creative processes (and different creative timelines) so it is crucial for you to understand and respect those differences if you are going to maintain a healthy musical relationship.
This also goes with things like song choices in a cover or function band. Chances are you might not like every song that makes the setlist but unless you are the musical director and are calling all the shots there, you might need to bite your tongue and get on with it, especially if it’s a song that is almost certain to go down well with your audience.
Now let’s look at a few things to avoid...
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Over-Committing Yourself
This is easily done and is a key thing to try and avoid. Do not promise the earth if you aren’t absolutely sure you can deliver. If you are absolutely sure that you can commit to things (such as weekly rehearsals and fortnightly gigs, as an example) without work or family getting in the way then by all means go for it, but nothing will irritate people more than someone that constantly flakes on band practice because “something has come up with....”. Life can obviously throw spanners in the works (which I think people should be understanding about) but if you lead a busy or chaotic life (as many of us do), think carefully before saying yes. This goes doubly so for gigs because they will usually need to be booked well in advance and you flaking out at the last minute is going to really annoy both your bandmates and (if they can’t get a dep and have to cancel) the venue owner. If you book things like that, make sure they go in a family communal diary as soon as possible so (as I mentioned earlier) everyone is aware of what is going on!
Likewise when it comes to extra responsibilities within the band. If you’ve promised that you’re going to sound out venues/promoters/agencies for gigs and a month later nothing has happened to that effect, your bandmates will start to get annoyed especially if they are anxious to get out and play live. If you don’t have the time or the drive/energy to do that sort of legwork, don’t volunteer for it or let yourself get pushed into it. Only take on what you know you can deliver without it becoming a serious drag for you.
Finances
This ties directly in with the above. Do NOT allow yourself to be pressured into making any sort of financial commitment you aren’t willing and able to make. This might start with weekly rehearsal expenses (which in my opinion SHOULD really be split between the band) but can also extend to things like purchasing PA, monitoring and lighting as well as possible merch and recording/pressing costs. A lot of musicians don’t like to talk too much about the money but having open and honest conversations about how things are to be paid for can avoid a lot of really ugly situations. If it’s someone’s solo project for example and they are calling the shots, the financial burden should ultimately fall on them. For a collaborative effort, I feel things should be split more evenly but I cannot urge you strongly enough not to be pressured into putting yourself at any kind of financial risk or to make financial commitments you’re not comfortable with. Go with your gut on this - if it feels off, don’t do it.
If you are going to be going out and playing for financial remuneration, discuss how that money will be split/used in advance with you all in the same room AT THE SAME TIME so that there is no room whatsoever for misunderstanding or misinterpretation. That sort of thing needs to be completely above board and any disagreements regarding any split or use of money need to be voiced in advance, not after payment has been made. Agreeing to something then someone moving the financial goalposts is another often-seen reason for bands to split apart.
Sharing Your Life Story/Bringing Your Issues With you
This is pretty much a carbon copy of the section from my gigging article. Unless you get to know them really well, your bandmates will in all probability not want personal issues and over-sharing to find their way into the rehearsal room, because it can be very uncomfortable for others when someone in the band is constantly talking about issues (be they professional or personal) when they are there to make music. It’s worth saying that you will not necessarily end up being good friends with the people you play in a band with. I personally have had some wonderful musical relationships with people I wasn’t particularly close to personally speaking, and vice versa. Being in a band does not always equate to being especially friendly, so I recommend approaching personal issues in the bandroom with extreme caution.
Failing To Prepare
Another often-seen reason for people being kicked out of bands is when they don’t do any of the necessary work. I realise of course that some people are far more relaxed about making music than others, but if a setlist has been agreed on and songs selected to work on at the next rehearsal and people turned up without having learned the songs I would be extremely annoyed. You don’t want to be that person, so get the details nailed down (which version and key you’re doing) and do your homework, making charts if need be! Failure To Prepare = Preparing To Fail.
Now let’s look at a couple of Red Flags for you to be aware of!
Excessive Turnover Of Personnel
I of course understand that ‘stuff happens’ in the world of music, but if you come across a band where one or two members have remained constant but the others appear to be going through a revolving door? That usually happens for a reason/combination of reasons. Bands like this should be approached with caution because there are various reasons, ranging from irritating (they are terrible people to work with) to outright alarming (substance abuse to threats of violence) that they could be going through members quickly. Reaching out to former members is the most sure-fire way to get a handle on what is going on or possibly putting out feelers within the local scene to see if there is any information that has made its way out. It’s always worth trying to corroborate any stories you hear rather than taking one person at face value (you never know when someone may have an axe to grind) and always remember there are two sides to every story, but if people keep joining a band and then leaving quickly, consider that a ‘heads up’...
‘Ghosting’/Communication Issues
For me, if people don’t communicate or they set something up and then ‘ghost’ you, that is an enormous red flag for me, because open and honest communication goes a long way both in terms of courtesy and making sure everyone is on the same page. If they don’t think you’re a good fit or they just aren’t sure about you as a person? Fine. But they should have the courtesy to front up and tell you that, not leave you hanging. You go to a rehearsal and then you don’t hear back from them for weeks? Consider that a large red flag and move on. Likewise if you’re trying to arrange things and someone continuously fails to respond properly, have an open conversation with them and ask them why, don’t sit there and stew over it. If they are having problems, it’s better to at least know about them so you understand why there is a lack of comms rather than feeling that you have been ghosted! Ghosting also goes in both directions, if YOU are not feeling it with the band for whatever reason, make sure to be upfront and honest and above all COMMUNICATE.
Drugs/Alcohol
I’ll leave you to make up your own minds on what you’re comfortable and not comfortable with on this subject, but if others in the band are doing things with either drugs or alcohol that you’re not comfortable with, my advice is to walk away. I’ve seen all kinds of issues within bands due to both of these things and have firm red lines on what I will and won’t deal with, especially on gigs as I have no desire for a performance I’m involved with to crash and burn due to someone else’s issues with either substance.
Relationships Within The Band
This is something that (personally) does very much put me off, when two people in the band are in a romantic relationship together though I absolutely accept that one’s mileage may vary. The reason I’ve mentioned this is that a romantic pairing within the band means that they effectively become a mini-faction, and often what one of them does, the other will also do. If one of them throws their toys out of the pram and leaves, the other may well leave; if things need to be put to a vote, chances are they will vote together. Also, if things later sour between them and they split up that will introduce a great deal of tension into the rehearsal room, assuming that they both remain in the band. I’ve experienced these situations myself and have zero desire to do so again.
Hopefully this will have been useful for some of you, and as always with these articles please share and thoughts or comments below!